PAULA BEL I was born at Los Angeles General welfare hospital, the last of 6 children. That uterus was a lot bigger than most apartments I’ve had since. How I miss the spaciousness of it all. The Dr. who delivered me was African American and the nurse Chinese. My mother says she was told to shut-up and deliver after they found out this was her sixth kid. Medi-cal didn’t cover screamers and minorites didn't tolerate them. According to my Chinese horoscope, which I came upon years later, it states the birth of this child will cause the separation of parents. Wow. Amazing what Confucious knew 3000 years before my parents even started drinking. I left school at 17 to marry my first boyfriend… now who couldn’t see that one coming? Guess what though? I wasn’t even knocked up! ( Remember this is California not Tennessee.) After about 8 years, I just couldn’t take it anymore, the early hours, being fenced in, so I left the married life to pursue comedy…from one Hell gig to the next. I have two grown daughters. Most people brag about their kids, I just simply know mine are truly amazing because they passed through me and I can’t usually go to the bathroom without smooth-move tea. Miracles. I asked them if they were going to put me in a home when I was old and their reply was “don’t even trip” meaning fall, so I guess I won’t be getting a special alert bracelet. Comedy has taken me places I never thought I’d of gone. Forget about the travel to far off places like Guam or Paris, I’m taking about the temp jobs in between… I’ve worked for more quacks ( yes, Dr.’s, and if you’re reading this, you know who you are ) than you could imagine. I mean it’s one thing to sit in a place for 8 hours a day with other folks who don’t want to be there, but then to have to answer yes to some stranger who’s only known you for 10 minutes, well, now I know how hookers feel. We’re all being pimped. I have escaped death many times. The first being hit by a doughnut truck when I was three, now you can’t get funnier than that, except if you learn how hungry we were and I was probably chasing it… and the last time when I was hit head-on two blocks from my home. Advice: always, always lie to the ambulance drivers. They’ll ask two questions. 1. Do you smoke? ( answer truthfully) 2. Do you have insurance? ( lie, always answer yes, than promptly pass out again.) You won’t go to Hell for lying only to a better hospital. I was taken to Cedars-Sinai where I stayed in the penthouse and the morphine was high grade. Speaking of Hell, this last collision, I felt what seemed like darkness trying to hold me. Some might say they see a light, or hear dead relatives giving them lotto numbers. I just felt something really empty. I know a lot of people would fear this but I don’t. See, I now know where it is I’m going, most people just hope they’re not. That’s why I get to say whatever I want to and live my life. Like I said before, from one Hell gig to the next. So just keep laughing.
	PRESS:
	IMDB Profile Martin Lawrence Presents “1st Amendment Stand-up” - REVIEW STARZ Martin Lawrence is back InBlack on Starz Baisden After Dark - www.tvoneonline.com Interracial Dating Michael Baisden tackles today's madd issue, "Interracial Dating," along with author, George Fraser (Success Runs in Our Race), comedian, Paula Bel, and author, Karrine Steffans (Confessions of a Video Vixen, The Vixen Diaries ). Barbara Schiller of the S Factor teaches the audience how to pole dance and special musical guest, Leela James entertains the crowd with her sultry voice. THE BREAKS - Feature Film Comics Unleashed with Byron Allen